Digital Green
by Fragmental Dani
Summary: A twisty Kyou introspective that shows Kyou and friends a few years down the road, changing from green to red. Completed.
1. Default Chapter

Digital Green  
  
Author's Notes: I think Fruits Basket hits me hard because I can't imagine not being able to hold one I love, be it my child, friend, lover, whatever. The concept boggles the heck out of me and I guess that's where this fic stems from. I haven't really caught up on the manga but I'm told this fic shouldn't contradict anything shown in it so far. There will/may be rampant spoilers from the entire anime so watch yourself. I'd hate to ruin anything from this series for you. It's a bit down the road from where the anime stops, and for the record I better say it's an AU fic since I don't want to deal with Akito and the fact that he may never allow this. Just assume he did or something for some oddball reason. And oh yeah, mature audiences only, please? Enjoy it, and critique it with all honesty.  
  
  
  
Part One:  
  
The digital green light on the alarm clock told Kyou that it was 1:27a.m. His red eyes traced back up to the ceiling as he tried not to move the rest of his body. Kagura was curled up at his side, sound asleep, making his chest above his heart her pillow yet again. One of her arms draped across the blanket above his bare torso, hand lightly clenching the blanket. One of his arms held her close and the other rested behind his own head. He had grown accustomed to sleeping like this in the past few weeks and had learned to quit griping over waking up with a sore, sleeping shoulder after the fact.  
  
In fact, Kyou was learning to get used to quite a few changes. Three weeks and some odd days of marriage had taught him so much that there was no way he couldn't change. Of course, he had stood his ground on a few things and forced Kagura to change her ways, too. Shigure had tried to tell them they'd have to meet in the middle to make things work in the long run, but both were stubborn and didn't agree with that. They were working things out their own way. Hatori had countered with trying to explain to everyone that they had to make their own mistakes and learn for themselves. Ayame had said something to the effect of as long as there was harmony in the bedroom everything would be wondrous. That had pissed both Kyou and Kagura off. Tohru had fell into a deep blush as Yuki grabbed his brother by the collar and began yelling as Ayame laughed.  
  
Of course, to Kyou's annoyance, no one was criticizing Yuki and Tohru's marriage. Theirs was completely seamless. They were two completely happy people, completely in love, and having a completely perfect life together with no reason to argue or get angry at one another. Smiling blushes at one another, coyly held hands… It made Kyou feel nearly sick. It wasn't that he wasn't happy with Kagura. It had actually surprised him when he came to realize just how much he did love her and how he wanted to care for her. It wasn't an overnight thing either. It had come with time and more stubbornness on her part than patience on his. But sometimes he just became really aware of how perfect that damn mouse's marriage was while he and Kagura were forever arguing. At least when there tempers calmed, they could smile at one another. There was one thing Kyou was secure about deep within his heart. No matter how loud or bad the yelling got, he wouldn't dare leave Kagura and he knew she wasn't about to leave him. Their fights were more annoying than painful and both were used to annoyances. Though both were secure in the fact that they'd be together now, their marriage was forever being compared to Yuki and Tohru's.  
  
And it didn't help matters that people were right a lot of the times, either. Even though people sometimes had no idea what was going on within the house, they could hit things right on the head. Hatori didn't meddle all that much, but Shigure and Ayame were always right on top of the game. Shigure seemed intent on helping, but Ayame believed all the problems were lying in one place. Kyou remembered being held back as he tried to attack Ayame for saying such things but had about four people holding him back.  
  
Maybe if his and Kagura's sex life had been a little a better at the time, it would have been all right. When they first got married though, they were both virgins and so disaster had ensued on their wedding night. Kyou had barely got it in before firing, leaving Kagura upset at first. Kyou had been pissed with himself and then when Kagura began telling him it was okay and that he'd do better the next time, it mad him even madder. The only thing on his mind was that Yuki had probably been a hell of a better lover than he had just been and that Kagura deserved much better than what he had just given her. He had turned his back to Kagura in the bed, but she still wrapped her arms around him and snuggled against his back. When he had calmed himself, he took her hands in his and they slept like that. She was too stubborn to give up on him.  
  
Kyou looked down at Kagura as she stirred against him, beginning to snore lightly as her mouth fell open. Well, after weeks of what he believed to be just barely satisfying her if at all, he knew he had done well a little while before. His body was still quite sedated as he let his mind wander back over the night once more. He was finally satisfied with being her lover now. Not that making love to her before hadn't felt right, but tonight… It was more right than ever. For some reason, she'd been on his mind all day. He was really late getting home from his weekly training with Kazuma. He wasn't tired at all; his body wanted Kagura. Strangely enough, she had apparently been waiting for him. He found her in their candlelit bedroom, waiting quietly in a short yellow terrycloth bathrobe. It was just like her to think a bathrobe could double as lingerie, but Kyou didn't need the clothes on her anyway. Soon all the clothes were on the floor and sweat was pouring off of them both. The small candles had nearly burned out by the time Kyou saw a look on complete intention on Kagura's face that he'd never seen before. She was quietly whimpering his name and begging softly and he decided no matter what she was going to get what she asked for. He could feel and even see the tension within her entire body as his hand traced over her cheek and lips, trying to will her with his eyes that he wasn't going to disappoint her this time. Her nails began to dig into his shoulders; her thighs tightened around his waist as she broke eye contact to clench her eyes shut and arch her back. He could feel it. There was no chance she was faking it this time as she had before so he wouldn't be angry with himself. He could feel her body shaking around him within her. Her head was literally thrashing side to side as she cried out his name over and over with each quick breath, her arms tight around his body and hands never letting go of his shoulders. He buried his head in the exposed neck, kissing her passionately there and trying not to lose himself yet. He didn't raise his head again until her grip on his waist had loosened, her hands had begun to stroke his back, and her body was relaxed beneath his. A dazed smile was on her lips, a few tears of relief on her cheeks. He kissed them away and allowed himself a release afterward. His wasn't as powerful as hers had been, but it was damn satisfying to know he finally become the lover he wanted to be to her. She had curled up against him as the candles died out and went to sleep.  
  
Kyou absently kissed the top of her head, trying to keep the smug smirk off his face. So he had done it once. Would he be able to do it again? He wouldn't be satisfied with himself as a lover unless he could. Maybe Ayame was right. Kyou couldn't help but to snort at that thought. He wanted to bet Yuki had never pleased Tohru as well as he had just pleased Kagura, either.  
  
He tightened his arm around Kagura and rested his cheek on her head. That was one change he didn't mind anymore. Having to hold her during the night at first seemed like something of a chore. It got in the way of his usual fetal sleeping position and he had tried to push her away for the first few nights. Soon he got used to having her in his arms through the night. Taking naps during the day without her were actually restless. He'd never admit that to her, but they were. He feared becoming dependent but at the same time, since it was Kagura, it wasn't that bad.  
  
He felt as if for just this night, his marriage was suddenly as seamless as Yuki's was. Both he and Kagura were completely content, all curled up in each other's arms. Happy. In love. Somewhere across the city, Yuki and Tohru were probably just as elated. Happy. In love. Contently curled up in each other's arms after making love to one another. Kyou started to grin, for once feeling equal to that damn mouse. The picture of Yuki and Tohru curled up together no longer bothered him. At least, not the way it used to.  
  
Kyou's grin faded nearly as quickly as it had started. Something was wrong with the image in his mind. Something with the image just didn't fit. Kyou felt as if he were looking at the picture through some distorted mirror. Though the picture was clear, it was odd. Yuki and Tohru, lying in their bed… Tohru's head rested on Yuki's bare chest as her arm draped across him to lightly grip the blanket. Yuki had both arms around her, holding her close. The digital green light in their room read 1:32a.m. Finally Kyou's mind zeroed in on what was bugging him about the image. Slowly, Kyou saw the seam of the happy damn mouse marriage rip. Why had he never thought of that before? Surely somewhere in his mind he had known, but he just hadn't applied the knowledge…  
  
The image of Yuki and Tohru changed into one where Yuki was nuzzled against Tohru's back, his arms carefully at his own side. Tohru's hands clasped themselves in front of her. The picture was better that way. But Kyou couldn't accept it. Those two could never… Just as he and Kagura were laying in bed… Kagura was a member of the Juunishi. Tohru was not. Kagura's arms didn't cause him to poof. Tohru's arms, however, did cause Yuki to poof.  
  
"Tch," he finally muttered, deciding to put it out of his mind and not let it ruin his perfect night. It was the life they chose. Even if he had neglected that fact for a while they surely must not have. It was their problem, not his. Looking down at Kagura, he tried to remind himself of his feats to get Yuki and Tohru out of his mind. He smiled again, thinking he could still feel the sweat on her brow. But his smile faded slowly, his mind not willing to let go of the fact that Tohru could never be held like this by the person she would most want to be held by. His eyes clenched shut. Maybe it was good for the mouse to have to suffer a bit, but Tohru… Just as he knew Kagura deserved so much more than what he had given her so far, he had always thought that Yuki was giving the same and more to Tohru. Yet, it was impossible.  
  
Dammit, it wasn't fair. What the hell was that damn mouse thinking putting Tohru in a marriage like that? What right did Yuki have to do that to her? Tohru was always so slow when it came to such things that she probably didn't realize it until Yuki had her on their wedding bed. Kyou knew Yuki had to have known. His frustration rose over the matter, his stomach tying into knots. It had to be hard for Yuki, too. Kyou's mind wouldn't stop no matter how he begged it. More and more images of the life that Yuki and Tohru could never lead kept popping up.  
  
So that was why no one ever tried to pick apart their marriage. It was so flawed from the inside that everyone respected the painful position they had placed themselves in. The problems within Kyou's marriage could be worked on and fixed. Yuki and Tohru's were forever. Kyou hated it even more that Yuki was becoming a man with a curse in his mind's eye instead of that damn mouse.  
  
Looking down at Kagura once more, he tried to imagine what it would be like if he wasn't allowed to hug her body close to his, to feel her warmth against his skin, to feel her heart beating against his own during a tender embrace. "Argh!" Kyou wretched out and carefully pulled himself out of Kagura's hold on him so he could stand up. He pulled on the pants that had been thrown to the floor a while before and began pacing around the room, one hand pulling at his hair and the other clenched at his side, trying to get those images out, trying to ignore the fact that he'd never be able to handle Yuki's situation.  
  
The one time he had needed to hug Tohru, he had and accepted the result of having to sleep as a cat on her knee. But if he couldn't hug Kagura, as much as she had come to mean to him? How could Yuki stand it? How could Yuki even remotely *want* to put Tohru in such a position? Kyou bit his lip hard, anger rising too fast to deal. His fist reared back and punched the wall hard in one swift, almost elegant motion. A pitiful growl had come with the punch, both actions feeling as if they had been ripped from his soul. How had he gotten so worked up over this? He sank to his knees, feeling guilty because of the anger over Yuki and Tohru's "perfect" marriage. His head lowered and his fingers scratched at the wooden floor. Hot tears were falling straight down from his eyes, not bothering to run down his cheeks. "Tohru…" he whimpered softly. He couldn't bear to say Yuki's name.  
  
"Kyou?" a groggy voice asked from behind him. Kagura had raised up in the bed, propped up on one arm and rubbing her eyes with her other hand.  
  
"Go back to sleep," he said, hoping that she couldn't hear the pain in his voice. His hopes were denied as he realized she was getting up and reaching for her robe.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked gently, tugging the belt on her robe shut.  
  
"Nothing. I told you to go back to sleep." His voice gave him away completely this time as it cracked a few times.  
  
"Kyou? Are you crying?"  
  
He turned around to face her as she knelt beside him with an angered look on his face. "Leave me alone and just go back to bed!" he said in a louder, more demanding voice.  
  
Kagura, as usual, ignored him. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?!" she asked, also using a louder tone and a more demanding voice.  
  
"It's nothing. Just… leave me be." He hung his head again and found his tears had stopped. The lump in his throat was still trying to choke him, though.  
  
Her hand began to rub his back, trying to comfort him. Though he wanted to yell and tell her to get back in bed, he bit it back. "Whatever it is, Kyou, you can tell me. No matter how awful," she said. Her arms surrounded him from the back and her cheek pressed against one shoulder blade.  
  
With that, the reason he was on the floor in the first place returned and his tears fell again. "Let go of me, dammit! Please, just… don't want to hold me right now! Go back to bed and leave me be!"  
  
Kagura let go and sat back on her heels, staring at his quivering back for a minute. She decided not to fight him for now as tears welled up in her own eyes. She knew his voice whimpering Tohru's name would haunt her for a long time coming. She suddenly felt as far away from him as she had when Tohru had first seen the real Kyou. She quietly stood and obediently went to back to bed. She listened as Kyou sobbed quietly on the floor. She knew what sound a heart made when it broke, then. Kyou's sobs made the same sound her heart did when it broke. And it was.  
  
To be continued….  
  
Author's Further Note: If I don't continue, feel free to hunt me down. I'll be standing behind Kyou right over there… 


	2. Part Two

Part Two:  
  
Kagura sat in a stupored daze at her table. She had made enough of the homemade potato soup that Kyou had taught her to make for the both of them. She knew he wouldn't be back before it needed reheating though, even if he had given her a kiss on the cheek promise. She'd be eating her lunch alone again. Never before had she minded eating alone, but today was different. Kyou had left without saying where he was going or what he planned to do. The look in his eyes had begged her not to ask and so she respected it. There was only one place he'd be, Kagura knew. Her body still seemed to be singing praises to Kyou for the ecstasy he had given it the night before. Her mind couldn't let go of the fact that he'd been on his hands and knees afterwards, crying his heart out, and calling out for Tohru. It took all her strength to let him go to her.  
  
And she was right, too. Down a few roads and past a few houses, Kyou had found himself at Yuki and Tohru's door. It was pure luck that he had caught her home alone with nothing to do but some household chores. Tohru was quick to push them aside when Kyou had said he needed to speak with her and wouldn't meet her eye. When he asked if there was a place where Yuki couldn't sneak up on them, she had to think for a minute. She took his hand and led him out of her backdoor, past the vegetable gardens, and into the woods. Yuki's land shared borders with Shigure's land. Soon she had led him to the pond where she had accepted the real Kyou for the first time. "Is this all right?" she asked him.  
  
Kyou nodded, shoving his hands deep within his pockets. So many questions had run through his mind since the night before when he had finally gotten off of the floor and back into bed. Kagura had her back towards him and winced when he put his hand on her. He had sighed, knowing he deserved it but knowing she didn't understand either. He had turned over to stare at the alarm clock for the rest of the night. Tohru didn't deserve a life like that and Yuki was selfish for giving it to her. He knew he'd have to talk to Tohru and find out why she'd let him do that to her. He knew he'd have to do it without Yuki around, too, or else a fight that he might even consider removing his beads to win would occur. "Tch," he had thought, quickly putting it out of mind. For now, he had to find a way to talk to Tohru about it.  
  
"You don't look as if you rested well last night, Kyou-kun. Did you and Kagura-san have another fight?" she asked, pulling off her shoes to dip her feet in the cool water.  
  
"What?!" he asked, instantly annoyed and on the defense because once again, his marriage was getting questioned. He looked down to remember it was Tohru he was speaking to. "No. Well, maybe, but I don't know yet. That's not why I'm here."  
  
She looked up at him with big, innocently blue eyes that brought that pang of guilt back to his heart. "I'll wait then. Whenever you're ready."  
  
"I am ready!" he snapped.  
  
"Then go ahead," she said, smiling broadly.  
  
He huffed and looked away, almost telling her not to smile all the time again. Tohru laughing at him was just what he needed. "I have no right to be asking you such things, I know. But I need to know this and I want you to be honest and not worry about anyone else's feelings."  
  
Tohru cocked her head to the side. "I'll try my best, then."  
  
"Are you…" Kyou stopped and sighed. Taking another deep breath, he tried again. "Are you truly happy with Yuki? Being his wife and everything?"  
  
Tohru smiled. "Of course I am. I wouldn't have said I do if I wasn't."  
  
"Tch. How can you be? I just don't understand."  
  
Tohru thought about it, trying to figure out just what he was getting at. "I love Yuki very dearly and I'm honestly happy with him. Aren't you happy with Kagura-san? I know she loves you dearly as well and she's very happy."  
  
"Yeah. This isn't about me and Kagura though. I love her, you know, and because of that… I can't understand how you and Yuki can be happy at all."  
  
"We are, Kyou-kun. We really in truly are. Is it really that hard to understand?"  
  
Kyou shook his head. He had no right whatsoever to question her or her affairs any further. She was happy with Yuki and that should have been enough. "I just can't begin to imagine…" Kyou stopped himself once more, trying to repress it.  
  
Tohru was humming almost happily, kicking her feet in the water. Was she just playing with him? Did she know what he was getting at? "It's hard at times, but I love him."  
  
"Hard? I can't imagine it possible. How can you restrain yourself from wanting to hold him close? I don't understand at all."  
  
Her feet stopped. Her humming stopped. "I think… I think you're trying too hard to understand it. Our love for each other is going to get us through anything. It's not as horrible as you might imagine. There's so much that we can still… do… without having our arms around each other. It's quite… tricky. It's hard to be able to just let go of reality and enjoy things because of it, but if you want it to work, it does." Her cheeks were getting redder with each word.  
  
"Still, you won't know what it's like to be so completely happy that way."  
  
"What way?"  
  
"Getting to hold one another." Kyou looked back down at her to see her blush fade and a look of realization spread across her face.  
  
"You still worry about me so much, don't you?" She sighed as she chose her words carefully. Kyou waited for it. She always had to say just the right thing to set his mind at ease. He held his breath hoping he'd get it. "Yuki and I hold each other all the time."  
  
Kyou's eyes narrowed and he couldn't help but spit out a "What?!"  
  
Tohru nodded, smiling again. "We do. I hold him close to my heart and he tries to wrap his paws around my finger as he nuzzles my chest."  
  
Kyou's face plainly fell. She always was a bit of an idiot, but surely she couldn't be serious. "I mean you can't hold *him.* You can't hold Yuki. You can hold the mouse but it's not Yuki."  
  
Tohru's face got serious. "No, Kyou-kun. It is Yuki. All of it is him. No matter what he looks like, what his body is like, what form it's in. No matter what. It's Yuki. I can hold him close anytime I want to. No matter what he looks like, he's Yuki. Forms don't matter. I don't regret getting into this with him one bit. I love him so much and don't know what I'd do if I were to lose him." She was shaking with honesty.  
  
Kyou thought for a few minutes, kneeling before Tohru to put his hands in hers to try to get her to stop shaking. "No matter what, then? It is still Yuki. And your love for him makes you feel as if you aren't missing out on anything?" he asked quietly.  
  
She shook her head. "No. My love for him tells me that I'm not missing anything. It doesn't make me feel that way, it lets me know I'm not."  
  
"I see." He didn't like the answers, but they were her reasons and she was content with them. Maybe Yuki hadn't blindly led her into this. "I still can't forgive him."  
  
Tohru laughed. "You never will. But we made sure we could do this before we were married. Making sure we would be able to handle what seems to worry you now."  
  
Kyou's eyes widened. "You mean you slept with him before you two got married?!?"  
  
Tohru's face went red and her hands jerked from his to hide her face.  
  
Kyou chuckled. "No. I'm… sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that." How come he could still apologize so quickly to her but not to Kagura?  
  
"We… wanted…" she started as she lifted her head again. "We wanted to be sure that we could do so comfortably. And I promise you, just because our arms can't go around one another doesn't mean that we're less intense of a couple behind closed doors. From our first time it was wonderful and it still is." Her blush was still glowing.  
  
Kyou nodded and looked up to the sky. Clouds seemed to be moving in and he was sure it'd be raining later on that afternoon and into the evening. "Last night was the first time I'd really made Kagura happy as a lover. All this time I've been married to her and I'm able to hold her, I still couldn't make her as happy as you seem to be with Yuki."  
  
"Then don't compare. What's right for Yuki and I is right for us. What's right for you and Kagura-san is right for you two."  
  
Kyou hung his head, smiling inwardly. Tohru, as usual, was right. The matter was definitely settled in his heart and mind. Tohru was happy, Yuki was happy. He'd made Kagura happy. And dammit, he was going to be happy and have his perfect marriage. Anyone who wanted to argue that his wasn't perfect would answer to his fists.  
  
"I'm glad to know that you two are really happy though. I've worried that maybe you two didn't get along very well when you were alone." Her voice was so innocently honest that Kyou couldn't get angry over it.  
  
"I think we are. We argue a lot, but we don't hurt each other." He sighed deeply. "I think we should be heading back before the rain makes a mess of us."  
  
Tohru nodded and pulled her shoes back on even though her feet were wet. Then she led Kyou back to her home where she kissed his cheek goodbye as he said he had to get back home to Kagura. He had promised to be back by lunch but that promise was far broken. Maybe she could forgive him.  
  
1.1.1.1.1.1.1 To be continued yet again…  
  
A/N: I don't think I can write Tohru that well… But one more part will come. Kagura's heart is hurt and we still have to make our hero fix it, ne? Someone call a locksmith for Kyou, he's gonna need one ^^;; 


	3. Part 3 and Final

Part Three and Final:  
  
It had just begun to sprinkle by the time that Kyou made it home. He had ran as soon as he felt the rain on him and avoided getting drenched. The front door was locked so he was forced to rummage through his pockets for his keys. As he lifted the key to the lock, he sighed impatiently and closed his eyes. The lock was silver. When they had first gotten married, it had been copper. Then after he and Kagura had their first major argument, he had come home to find that his key didn't fit the new gold lock. And now he was faced with silver. If she kept the house half as good as she changed locks… "Kagura! It's raining out here! Open this door!"  
  
No answer.  
  
He pounded on it with the butt of his fist. "Open it before I break it down!" he yelled. "I didn't do anything this time!"  
  
Still, no answer.  
  
Kyou growled, shoving his hands into his pocket. "All right. I'll get sick and die out here, do you want that?" he yelled half-heartedly. He walked to the edge of the stoop realizing that nothing he said was going to get him into the house any sooner. The window to their bedroom was slightly cracked. He could climb the tree beside it and try to pry it open from there. Kagura was going to pay for making him get wet, though, as the rain started pouring down. Of course, it didn't take him long at all to get up the tree and through the window.  
  
He kept quiet as he changed into dry clothes in their closet and towel dried his hair in the bathroom. He could hear muted music coming from down the hall. Kagura was listening to her record player. He had thought it was odd at first that she would own something that one had to be so delicate with but she took such special care of it that Kyou was impressed. The only records she had were wordless ones with all sorts of classical and lullaby types of songs. When he was ready to face her and find out what the hell he had done wrong, he stood outside the guest bedroom's door. It was locked. "Kagura, let me in." He said it as calmly as he could.  
  
"I don't want to," came her answer.  
  
Kyou's fist connected with the door and then his forehead to his fist as he leaned on it. "I didn't do anything!" he pleaded.  
  
"I know. I've known all along, so it's my fault really."  
  
Kyou pulled his head away to stare at the door as if it were the problem. His face tightened. As long as he lived, he was never going to understand women, much less Kagura. "Then why are you punishing me for it?"  
  
"I can't do this, Kyou."  
  
"Do what? Talk to me?!" His voice was getting louder by the second.  
  
Kagura's remained deadly calm. "Live like this. With you."  
  
Kyou took a step back, as if he had been punched in the jaw and stunned. His mind could only replay how happy he'd been with her the night before, before the realization had hit him. He couldn't love her any more if he tried and suddenly she was saying she couldn't live like that? "Why?! Have you lost your mind!?"  
  
"No. I think I started using it."  
  
"Kagura, stop talking like that! Open this damn door so we can talk!" She was scaring him with that seriousness. "I'm not kidding when I say I'm going to kick it in if you don't unlock it!"  
  
The music ended. There was some shuffling behind the door. Click. Kyou took a deep breath before opening it. Inside, Kagura had already sat back down on the guest bed beside the window. She was carefully putting her records into their sleeves. Kyou sat down on the bed beside her and reached out for her hand for reassurance.  
  
Kagura jerked it away quickly, her eyes stabbing into his like pure icicles. "Don't you even think about touching me."  
  
Kyou sat utterly stunned, his mouth slightly agape. He blinked at her quite a few times, not sure what to make of the situation. She had been mad at him thousands of times before, but this time, her anger seemed to run deeper than ever before. Finally he stood up and crossed his arms, walking across the room. "You're going to tell me what's wrong. I at least deserve an explanation." His back was to her.  
  
She moved all her records off the bed and curled up on it, facing away from the window that ominously had lightning flashing in it every so often. "I don't think I can give you an explanation. I don't think you understand what it means to feel like I do right now."  
  
Kyou couldn't keep a check on his anger anymore. He couldn't stand it when people talked in riddles or rhyme to dance around outright saying the truth. "Everything was fucking perfect when I left you here this morning!! Is it that big of a deal that I didn't make it home for lunch? Is it? Is that what this is about?" he yelled. It was hard to keep his back to her, but he did so anyway.  
  
"Everything was *not* fucking perfect when you left here this morning," came the cool reply.  
  
"Kagura… Now you listen here…" he snarled.  
  
"No!" she shouted, sitting up on the bed rather suddenly. "You listen here! You listen here and you listen good! I knew what this was going to be like when I married you. I thought I was going to be able to handle it. But, I was wrong. Last night felt so damn good, Kyou!" Her voice was whining a bit as she calmed her shouts down to normal talking. "It felt so right."  
  
"I know it did! I was finally satisfied with myself as a husband for once. Where the hell did it go wrong?" he asked, finally turning around.  
  
She stared at him. "How can you honestly ask me that with such an innocent face?"  
  
Kyou couldn't find an answer. Cursing her more wasn't about to help matters, either. So he merely stared back.  
  
Finally she rolled her eyes. "Fine. Let me tell you what it's like then. For some odd reason, you actually love your spouse. And you think about him when he's not around. And sometimes you end up needing him pretty bad. So you spend the entire day trying to think of what you can do to get him to want you when he comes home…"  
  
"All you've ever had to do was say the word, Kagura."  
  
"Shut up! Just shut up and listen to me! You think so hard, but yet you don't know what you can do so you hope your bathrobe is sexy enough. You light a few candles, and wait. When he gets home, you find that it was enough. It was more than enough as he takes you further than you've ever fantasized about. He has your body believing he's a god, singing his praises through every tiny inch that is you. You can't even remember your name when it's over, much less can you stay awake. And then when you do wake up? He's on the floor crying because it's not the girl that he wanted to do that to!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Kyou exploded. "WHAT THE FUCK, Kagura? You've got to be kidding me!"  
  
"No! It really hurts, Kyou. It *hurts.* I thought that I would be able to cope with being second best in your heart but…" she yelled back. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She slumped back down onto the bed.  
  
"You're NOT second best and you never will be!" he yelled.  
  
"But I can't do it," she finished, ignoring him, trying to scrub the wetness from her cheeks.  
  
"Tohru, right?" he asked, still mad as hell.  
  
"I knew you loved her. I thought I could change you. But I can't."  
  
Kyou had to settle his nerves after that one. He started at thirty this time, counting down backwards while taking deep breaths and clenching his fists and letting them go. "You don't have to change me," he said when he felt calm enough to talk.  
  
"I don't even want to hear you…"  
  
"Shut up!" he snapped. This time his eyes drilled into hers. "Just shut up and listen to me now. It's my turn to talk." Slowly, he made his way to the bed and laid down beside her facing her. She made to move, but his arm quickly pinned her. He knew if she wanted up, she could do it. "Stay put. I'm going to say this once. I'll never say it again. Don't you ever doubt me this way again or else I won't forgive you."  
  
Kagura stared at him until he turned over to his back, staring up at the ceiling, one hand behind his head. "I love you. Simple and plain, I love you. I love Tohru as well, but not like I love you. There may have been a time when I was younger that I did like Tohru in that way. But back then I thought no one could love me. Ever. I knew you said you did, but you made me feel weird. I wasn't ready for what you had to offer. Tohru saw the real me and still loved me, and from that point on I knew I could never be with her like that. I needed her too much as my friend. With a relationship, I'd fuck up and lose her forever. That's when I started to realize that maybe I felt something for you. Tohru became like my older sister, my best friend. I needed her, but not the way I began to need you."  
  
Kagura reached her hand out to touch Kyou's cheek. Sliding her finger across it, she brought it back to her nose. "Tohru's lip gloss is really amazing. It's strawberry scented, tinted, and waterproof. And it's on your cheek."  
  
"I said stop doubting me, dammit! She always kisses my cheek goodbye. Just like you always hug that damn mouse."  
  
"Yeah, but a hug is one thing. A kiss is another."  
  
"And Tohru can't hug me, now can she?"  
  
Kagura blinked at him. "No. So if I kissed Yuki goodbye, you'd have no problem with it?"  
  
"Other than making you scald your lips before you kissed me again? No." Kyou hid a smile when he heard her giggle. His words were working. He was feeling more settled by the second.  
  
"That still doesn't clear your name. Why were you crying last night?" Her voice was quiet now.  
  
"Ever since we got married, I feel like people have picked us apart. They've said we can fix this, we can improve that, and never once did they say the same to Yuki and Tohru. I guess it never hit me how happy our marriage really is because of people criticizing. I was holding you so close last night when it hit me that they couldn't do the same. I felt stupid for not realizing it before yet I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. I felt so sorry for Tohru living that life. I got up so I wouldn't wake you. The thought ate at me though, Kagura. I ended up punching the wall and crying. You must've heard me say her name. I can't believe you thought that… No. Never. Last night couldn't of happened with anyone else but you. And I wouldn't want it any other way."  
  
There were tears on Kagura's cheeks again and this time Kyou was allowed to brush them off. "If I said I was sorry, would you accept it?"  
  
"No. I could have told you last night why I had to go see her today. That would have saved you the heartache, right?"  
  
"She's really happy with him. I'm simply amazed by what they can get away with."  
  
Kyou turned his head towards hers, his eyebrows narrowed. "And just what do you know about it?"  
  
Kagura giggled. "Girls talk, silly."  
  
Kyou rolled his eyes. "I won't ask. I don't want to know."  
  
Her arms went around his chest and she snuggled into his side, her face in his shoulder. "I love you so much."  
  
"Then quit changing the locks on me."  
  
Kagura lifted her head out of his shoulder to look up at him. "I wonder how long it'll take you to realize that there's only three locks in this house and that you have a key to all of them. When we first moved here, there was a copper lock on the front door, a silver one on the back, and a gold one on the shed. All I do is switch them around yet you always act as if you don't have a key."  
  
Kyou glowered at her. "What did you say?"  
  
Kagura smiled and kissed the underside of his jaw. He hugged her close to him, rolling over to his side to make her even closer.  
  
"I'm sorry for letting you believe that you were second for so long."  
  
"I'm sorry for not asking sooner."  
  
"And I missed lunch."  
  
"Too bad. I threw the leftovers out."  
  
Kyou growled lightly. "Maybe I'll just have to have some Kagura then." He pressed his lips to hers before she could argue.  
  
Somehow they ended up back in their own bedroom, making love in their own bed once again. Afterwards, Kagura curled up against him to make his chest her pillow as he slowly stroked her hair. Their lovemaking wasn't as powerful as it had been the night before, but it still felt good and right for them both. Kyou didn't feel guilty holding Kagura close this time, either. He was sure that inside Yuki and Tohru's bedroom, they fought for the same harmony he easily had. Clearing his throat, he turned his head to see what time it was. The room was darker than normal and he couldn't see his digital green alarm clock.  
  
"Kagura? Where's the clock?"  
  
"I threw it and broke it when you didn't come home for lunch," she said quietly. Her voice held fatigue, not regret. "I think a red one would suit the room much better. It'd match your eyes."  
  
Kyou blushed as poetic-too-sweet-to-say-aloud words came to mind. "It'd match my love for you, too." He didn't say them, though. He closed his eyes, pulled Kagura closer to him, and fell asleep. The green was gone and red had settled deeply in his heart. And that was enough for him.  
  
~fin~  
  
Author's Last Notes: Trust me when I say that a big thank you needs to go out to Yui-chan *huggles her beta reader for not letting her get one single thing wrong* and Ruka *huggles her other beta reader* and also to Mona *huggles just 'cause*. You chics were great and I shall find a way to pay you guys back ~_^ Anyways, now that this story is done, I hope you have enjoyed it and I'd really love to hear what you think of it. Who woulda thought writing Kyou/Kagura would be this fun, huh? I think you should TRY IT, HINT HINT. *big cheesy grin* ^^v 


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